2 kids

Brock just hanging out.

Ady kissing Brock.

So the past couple of weeks have been very full- full of ups, downs, and alot of in betweens. In all of the roller coaster of emotions, I just wanted to add a couple of things to the great job Adam has done in keeping everyone updated with our lives. He has been the strong one to get us through this ordeal.

After and through it all, I have really realized how blessed we have been. We have mentioned several times that thru this whole ordeal, we have really been reminded of how intrinsically good people are. From having so many people care and pray for us and take care of Ady for us to how nicely we were treated by Primary Children's and the Ronald McDonald House, we have really felt so grateful for everything and everyone, and I especially felt a lot of love from my Heavenly Father. Although I don't wish it on anyone to go thru having a sick child, they really have such a neat program at the hospital, they really take care of you and your family. I would never have known about it had I never had this experience.

Being able to come home has been great. Although Brock is attached to a tank of oxygen, we have really enjoyed getting to know him, and he is being a pretty good baby. Ady still has a few more meltdowns than normal, but she is enjoying having Brock around as well--she especially likes to get 5 inches away from his face and yell "Hi boy!" over and over. Having 2 kids is so great. I am loving being the mom. It is way way better than being pregnant and way better than being pregnant with 1 kid. I hope my feelings don't change when Adam isn't around as much to help out.

Brock has been sent home

Well Ady has finally been allowed to spend time with her new brother and we can see that it will take some time for her to adjust to him and the whole concept of him being part of the family. As you can see in this first photo, Ady doesn't want to touch Brock, or even be near him, or even smile for the picture. Yesterday, the hospital discharged Brock and we were told to take him home. Since Kasey has the flu I asked the hospital if we could just keep him there one more day but they said no. Kasey's parents also have the flu so I called my parents and asked if we could come stay with them for a couple days while people recovered and we could keep Brock away from the pukers. So then yesterday found me and Ady at the hospital filling out paperwork to take Brock home. After several hours of meeting with doctors, filling out paperwork, and receiving training on the oxygen tank they were sending with us, they told us we could go.

During this time Ady had not one, but three meltdowns, all before we were off the hospital grounds. The first one came in the hospital room when I asked Ady if we could take the baby home with us. She immediately started balling and said "no I no want baby go home." After crying for a bit and taking a nap on a chair while I filled out paper work we finally made our departure. As we were walking out and went to pick up the car seat with Brock Ady then threw another tantrum. This one because I was carrying Brock and not her. She was screaming about wanting to be carried and why was I carrying the baby and not her. After I finally got her calmed down, I told her she either walked out or she was staying in the hospital by herself, Ady decided that she wanted to help carry Brock's car seat. So there we were walking down the hallway, three wide, me carrying Brock and Ady on the other side of the car seat, both hands on the seat and acting like she was about to pass out from the exertion of carrying her part of the car seat. I think the nurse that was wheeling the oxygen tank out behind us had a pretty good laugh about the whole ordeal.

When we got to the car I decided to move Ady's seat to the door that way she wouldn't poke or be able to reach Brock while I drove. Ady watched me move her seat, asked me what I was doing, and freaked out after I told her I was simply moving her seat to the side. I had no tolerance for her antics by this point, so I picked her up and forcibly strapped her in. The mistake I made was putting her directly behind my seat, Ady made sure I was well aware of her absolute disgust at not sitting in the center of the seat, not only did she scream and cry, but she kicked my seat relentlessly for a good 5 minutes. I tried reasoning with her while I drove, and I asked her what the problem was. I asked her if she could still see her Barney movie, which was playing on the dvd player, and she said through tears, "yes, but the baby can too, and I don't want to share my movie." I told Ady that Brock was facing backwards, was sound asleep and that he wasn't watching the movie. Ady didn't believe me, she kept telling me that he was watching the movie and she didn't want him too. By this time I was wondering how I was going to survive two kids.


Today has been a whole different experience. As you can see in this picture Ady is being very nice to her brother today. She has helped me change his diapers, held the bottle(quite firmly) for Brock when we feed him, got his binky a couple times(jammed it in his mouth once), told me when his oxygen tube slipped out of his nose(I came over just in time to see Ady trying to force both tubes up one nostril), and asked to hold him twice, and has kissed him and rubbed his head dozens of times, and my favorite was when she climbed up on the couch next to me and put her feet by his and said "look Dad, his feet are small, mine are big". We might survive being a family after all.

No more ICU!

We had been told that if everything was looking good that Brock might be able to move out of ICU tomorrow(Monday), and out to the "floor". Well the doctors have been very pleased with his progress and decided to move him out of the ICU today! He is now on the third floor, in the Children's Surgical Unit and has his own room with a door, and bathroom. We've been told that he can now have visitors, even Ady will be allowed to visit. After the way the last few days have gone we are so happy that we are back in a standard, "regular" hospital room. If you want to come visit him he is in room 3073. While we are very grateful for all the prayers and support, we've also been very appreciative that we haven't been flooded with calls and visits the last couple days. But things are looking good, and he is really cute, so if you want to see him we are probably able to handle seeing people now. Tonight Ady will get to see him for just the second time ever. We are really looking forward to having our whole family together.

Finally feeling like a Mother!

Kasey and I were talking about how hard some things have been the last few days and one of the things that Kasey said was really hard for her was not feeling like a mother. She said that she hasn't been able to do any of the things that you normally do for your child and she wished that they would let her hold him a little more, feed him, change his diapers and just basically be a mother to him. Well today they finally let Kasey feed her little boy. She was so happy to be able to hold him and give him a bottle. If it wasn't for the nurse standing there the whole time and all the cords keeping Brock connected, you could have imagined we were just sitting at home with our baby boy. We both got a chance to hold him for about 30 minutes this morning and he really seemed to like being held. He snuggled in pretty well and liked holding our fingers.

Brock had another echocardiogram, or EKG which is an ultrasound of the heart, and things look pretty good. He still has a hypertrophic artery, which means that his right ventricle chamber is too thick. But the prognosis looks good. The doctors have decided to take him off the prostaglandins, which is the hormones that they have been injecting to keep patent ductus arteriosus, or PDA, which is an extra valve in babies when they are in utero to help with circulation. This will cause that valve to close, and we will be able to see if his heart can function normally. If so, then he will be able to leave the cardiac intensive care unit in a few days.

The Surgery

Brock had his surgery today at 11 am. The process took about an hour and a half and went really well. Yesterday the hospital helped get us a room at the Ronald McDonald house which is only a couple minutes from the hospital so that we could be closer and more easily able to visit Brock. While we were checking in a worker there asked us if we would like to go to the Jazz game. We were a bit confused as to why she would be asking us, I was initially appalled that she was going to try and hawk tickets to us given the situation. But she explained that they had received a charitable donation in the form of 20 tickets and asked if we would like some so that we could have a break from the whole situation and could enjoy an evening together. Kasey very quickly accepted the tickets, they even gave one to Ady and we ended up at the Jazz game a few hours later. Although the Jazz forgot that the game was important and got absolutely abused by the Suns, we enjoyed the experience. At the game they announced that Deron Williams' charity had supplied the tickets. I was very proud to be wearing his jersey after I found out that he, or at least his charity, had made it possible for my family to come to the game.

This morning at breakfast, Ady puked a little. Then about 20 minutes later she puked a whole bunch. So there we were, getting ready to go back up to the hospital and Ady was puking. (She did manage to let me know early enough in advance on the third time that I was able to get her to the toilet). We decided that Kasey should go on up and be with Brock and I would stay with Ady till we could figure out what to do with her. After a little while Daron came and got her and I was able to join Kasey at the hospital at about 11:45 am. At about 12:30 we were paged, and they took us into a room with a cardiologist, and then they showed us clips of the procedure. Literally they had video footage of the surgery. We got to see the pulmonary valve before, the balloon being inserted and inflated, and then the size of the valve after the procedure. The valve is now a normal size and the doctors were very happy with the results. They did tell us that one of his ventricle chambers and outflow valve have grown excessively thick and will need time and possibly another surgery to repair. The doctors said we just have to wait and see what happens over the next few days, weeks and even months. We were so glad to hear them talk about months rather than what needed to be done in the next few hours. Brock is breathing normal room air right now, and is enjoying holding his Grandma Van Tassell's thumb. Once again we are so grateful to all the prayers and support for Brock and our family during this time.

Today-A day of waiting

Here's Kasey enjoying a moment getting to hold her baby. Brock has taken well to the medication stuff that he is hooked up to. He looks much better than he did, he is now a normal color, no more gray or blue color. The cardiologist talked with us today and they are planning to have him in surgery about noon tomorrow(Thursday). So I guess today we just hang out and wait. The waiting is kinda hard, but it beats having people rush around and then having them take your baby away to rush him into surgery. I figure that since they are comfortable waiting till tomorrow, Brock must be okay. Yesterday I counted about 15 cords, wires and hoses coming in or out of him. Today I only counted 8, so I guess that is a good thing. Both our parents came up last night and got to see Brock, and then we went out to dinner together. I think getting out of the hospital and enjoying a meal together was good for us, Kasey even smiled a couple of times. We are very grateful to all of the prayers, thoughts, and support for our family from all of you and will try to pass along updates as we learn more. Here is another picture of Kasey holding Brock and you can see in the background some of the machines and monitors that he is hooked up to.

Pulmonary Valve Stenosis

We FINALLY made it to Primary Children's Hospital and just met with the Cardiologist and FINALLY found out what is going on with our little guy (well kind of found out, I'm not sure we totally understand). Kasey is exhausted and is sleeping, so I thought I'd share a bit of what has happened in the last 24 hours. Kasey delivered an 8 pounder at 4:47 pm yesterday afternoon. He was pretty fussy for a bit and we were thinking to ourselves, "sheesh Ady didn't cry this much the first day." We finally got him calmed down about the time the grandparents showed up. (Watching the Grandmas be forced to share him was somewhat comical). About midnight we asked the nurse if they could take him to the nursery since Kasey was exhausted and needed some sleep. When the nurses got him into the Nursery, which was much better lit than our room-since we were trying to rest, they noticed that his color wasn't right. So they ran some tests and found out that Brock wasn't getting enough oxygen. They sent him to NICU and we got called and woken up. I told the physician that called to do whatever tests were needed, and let us know. I assumed that meant in the morning they'd have some paperwork for us.

No. We got another call about an 90 minutes later asking us to come down to NICU. We'd never been woken up in the middle of the night and asked to come down to NICU. This was when the first real worry crept in. We got lead to NICU and we saw our little baby hooked up to these machines and had numerous hoses coming out of him. Worry was quickly replaced by all out fear. The nurses brought some chairs over and asked if they could get us a drink. We knew this was a bad sign, not only is getting someone something to drink and having them sit down a way to deliver bad news, I saw a sign on the way into NICU that said no food or drink. We knew that if they were offering us a drink and bending/breaking rules this was not a good sign. We were informed that something was wrong with Brock's heart, and that they wanted to life flight him to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. However, due to the snow storm they couldn't fly him, so they took him in an ambulance instead. We were told that something was wrong with a valve and surgery was needed, but weren't told much more. They told us that we had a few moments and allowed Kasey to hold him. We asked if we could pull the curtain and I gave him a blessing. 10 or 15 minutes later, at about 4 am they took him away.

We got to Primary Children's Hospital about 8 or 9 hours later after Kasey got discharged and we picked up some things that may be needed for a potentially longer hospital stay than we had planned. Those 8 or 9 hours seemed like forever. My mind kept racing around trying to think about what little I know about hearts realized that I know virtually nothing about human anatomy. When we got to Primary CHildren's we had a couple doctors, several nurses and a cardiologist come and visit with us. (Oh yeah, two social workers came by also). We were told that his condition is currently stable but he is in "severely critical condition". The cardiologist went on to explain that Brock's right pulmonary valve wasn't formed correctly and the heart isn't able to get enough blood to the lungs. He told us that we are fortunate and they believe that his condition can be surgically repaired. Somehow, I didn't feel at all "fortunate" hearing that our baby is in "severely critical condition".

The cardiologist must've been able to tell from the million and four questions that I asked, that I had no idea what a pulmonary valve is nor did I know what it does. He drew multiple pictures and labeled vents, chambers, and all sorts of things for me. I kept asking about long term scenarios and recovery time, and basically the answer to all of those questions is we have to wait till the surgery and see how it goes. They are talking about a minimum of one to two weeks for Brock to be hospitalized. (Hello maximum out of pocket for the insurance). They are hoping to not have to do open heart surgery, they plan on doing a cardiac catheterization. They are hoping to get him into surgery for Pulmonary Valve Stenosis tomorrow afternoon. That is about all we know at the moment. We appreciate all the support and prayers on our behalf and hope to soon be sharing a healthy Brock with all of you.

Primary Children's Hospital

Brock's vitals started showing some low things, oxygen levels and heart rate issues or something like that. He was taken to NICU due to a heart murmur, and after some work it has been discovered that one of his pulmonary valves has a problem. He has been taken to Primary Children's Hospital for emergency heart surgery. We've had a bit of a rough night and would appreciate any prayers for our little boy.

Baby Brock

Kasey gets to hold Brock for the first time.

Ady is not sure what to think of her little brother. Although she did give him a kiss on his forehead when she left, she didn't want to touch him and she is even covering up her new "I'm a big sister!" shirt in this picture.

Kasey wanted everyone to know that this is why her ribs were always hurting, his BIG feet were pushing on them. (Ady had really big feet too).

Brock may have come, but he wasn't happy at first.

Welcome Brock!

Brock Alonzo Van Tassell born at 4:47 pm. 8 pounds 6 ounces and 21 inches long. Mommy and Baby are doing great and we'll have pictures as soon as I get a transfer cord for the camera.

Congratulations Patrice!

Well it happened, I was beginning to think it would never happen, but it did. Someone beat me at picking the NCAA tournament. Yep, you heard me right, I didn't win this year. After three years of winning, I have been dethroned. Patrice, Kasey's Aunt, obviously doesn't pay any attention to the pundits on ESPN or any other sports site, and picked Duke to win it all. Blake and I thought this was pretty funny. There was no way Duke was going to win the NCAA tourney, everyone knew that they shouldn't even be a #1 seed. Before the final four, Patrice was in dead last, and then two rounds later (we use a weighted system so that all rounds are worth twice what the previous rounds' points were) she was all alone at the top. Since I wrote a whole blog about the NCAA tourney and about how I was the reigning 3 time champ, I felt that we should acknowledge that Patrice now has the bragging rights for a whole year. Sheesh, this year is gonna be tough. By the way, if anyone is wondering what position I ended up in, well let us just say that it isn't anywhere near the top.
One more thing that I wanted to share tonight is about Ady. She loves bubbles so very much. She would have us blow bubbles all day if we would do it. Last night Ady figured out a new way to make bubbles. I was helping her in the tub and all the sudden there were all these bubbles coming up in the water. I looked at Ady, and she had this really big grin and said "look Dad, I make bubbles". I laughed, and then when I looked at her again she had this really funny look on her face like she was constipated, and I asked her what she was doing. She told me that she was trying to make more bubbles. I got a pretty good laugh out of that.

What I really think about pregnancy

Disclaimer: Don't feel obligated to read this, ...its long and about being pregnant...and I'm probly gonna complain a little, okay maybe a lot, but I haven't wrote much about being pregnant, so....here it is: the good the bad and the ugly...(please remember anything I say may or may not be the hormones!)

Lets be honest, I'm pregnant. That isn't hard to for me to remember (even though I've forgotten a lot of things the last 9 mos). I am ~39 weeks and I am huge. What is hard, is being pregnant and optimistic and motivated at all(notice the amount of blogs done by myself the last 9 mos). The countdown is getting closer though, so there is finally a light at the end of this tunnel which will be April 12th but hopefully sooner. But don't count on it...I am not that lucky.

Anyway, I have decided to write a blog to capture my real take about being pregnant. Its mostly so I don't forget these things in case I ever think about having another pregnancy, but also so it is recorded--since I have barely recorded anything since being prego and someday someone(like my kids) might just want to know; again I blame the lack of posts on the lack of motivation. If you ask my husband, he'll tell you pregnancy is a horrible thing that you finally get a kid out of in the end, but you just have to stand with your wife(or stand your wife(who is not really herself)) for a long 9 months. Thats probly cause he just hears me complain about it. All the time. Don't blame him, I don't. But lets start at the beginning...

I, after about 18 mos after having Ady, think I finally got over the horrible pregnancy she was and could at that point start not being completely opposed to having another kid. I don't know when things completely changed to deciding to have another one, but eventually they did because of one main reason, and that is that Ady needs a sibling. I like how my sister-in-law, Natalie, put having another pregnancy "It's best for our family." Thats how I feel. Pregnancy is just another necessary evil to have a sibling for Ady(it sure is a long necessary evil--at least I'm not an elephant, they have even longer 22 month gestation periods). The scriptures sure have it right when it says Eve would bear the burden of having children. I know, I know the saying...The best or most worthwhile things in life are the hardest. I guess it makes sense that because the thing is hard it is of more worth. Just makes me wonder though....How come some people seem to have such easy pregnancies? Its not like their kids aren't worth as much? Answers anyone?

Well, when I finally became pregnant, at least this time around I felt I knew what was coming. Sidenote: nobody told me the first time around about all the crazy and problem pregnancy things(okay, I was probly a bit naive too, but that maybe a little bit of a good thing cause sometimes it is better not to know what you are getting yourself into) Anyway here is a list of what I thought and what I was really getting myself into.

I THOUGHT I was going to be sick for the whole first trimester, maybe even longer; I figured the sickness may be even enough to have to take a few trips to the hospital for dehydration after not being able to keep anything down for days.

REALLY, I was sick, for about 4-5 months, but never was so sick to become dehydrated. People told me my second one would be better. I wish I had believed them. They were right. Maybe it was partly that I knew a little better how to take care of myself, or cause it's a boy, or who knows, but whatever it was I am grateful! Don't get me wrong...I was still sick and miserable a lot-vomiting, feeling nauseous, etc. but it wasn't as bad nor as much as the first time. I had saved all my sick leave for this purpose--and its a good thing too, I used it all but 1 hour.

I THOUGHT I would have horrible heartburn again

REALLY...I was right. I love Tums, actually, I have a love/hate relationship with Tums, they are my salvation, but they sure taste nasty after so many months of eating them like candy. (hope that wasn't the reason I had to have my Gall Bladder out 3 weeks after giving birth to Ady, but there is no gall bladder now, so that can't be effected anymore...hope nothing else is effected this time though)

I THOUGHT pregnancy would cure my acne again...

REALLY, It has now gotten rid of any acne...but I'd forgotten it took till halfway thru the pregnancy to do that.

I THOUGHT I would not have food cravings...in fact all food would just taste blah and my cravings would be more like "Okay, I think I can eat a plain baked potatoe and not puke"

REALLY, I found out that even though I have not liked to eat orange juice and raspberries my whole life, they actually taste pretty good to me now. However, I am still waiting to see after the baby comes if EVERYTHING tastes better like it did last time. Food just doesn't sound that appealing to me in the current state.

I THOUGHT about naming the baby.

REALLY....Adam picked out the name we think we will use. He just had to wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me it-ya know, in case he forgot the name he liked.

I THOUGHT having a baby would be so exciting

REALLY, I am really excited to meet our new addition, but this one is the second and we've been thru this before and its taking a long time.

I THOUGHT we can do this again.

REALLY, I hope I'm right, but I admit I am a bit nervous. I don't know why, we've been thru this before.

There are several more weird things that have happened expectedly or unexpectedly (huge blue veins, constipation, depression, hormones, bad circulation, more stretch marks, getting kicked, and the plain uncomfort of having what feels like a watermelon in your stomach) I'm not gonna write a whole paragraph about each of those. However, the one thing I seem not to have a problem with that others do is swelling! Yay--I didn't complain in that last sentence! Really I'm not trying to complain as much as be informative, but I know it sounds a lot like it. I just really want my body back! I am even ready to not use the "pregnancy excuse" anymore.

Although we've been through this pregnancy thing before, there definitely has been some new encounterings with health issues. Since this is already an open book about me...its continuing to be that, just a warning...

At the first Dr. appointment I couldn’t remember for sure and figured my due date should be about April 16. By the next appointment we figured my due date really should be April 9; we had an ultrasound that showed the baby being closer to the 16 date, but the Dr. said we could use the 9^th. I was happy with that until they gave me the 4 quad screening test, which is done from the 15-20 week stage. The test came back positive for a chance of Down Syndrome or Spina Bifida. That led to some interesting conversations and worry. The next step was to have an ultrasound to see if there were any signs of defect, I guess some people abort babies with those problems. That’s what the technician asked about at the ultrasound. We were just surprised cause we would have our baby no matter what. The ultrasound looked normal, and we even got to find out the sex was a boy(2 weeks earlier than normal). But they determined that the baby was not 15-20 weeks old at the time the test was taken, i was 14 weeks. So I retook the test. This time the test came out fine. But they did move my due date back. This time April 15^th was marked as the day. Fitting for me…the accountant having a baby due on Tax Day!

Things progressed I didn’t lose weight this time in the beginning when I was sick, I’m sure I’ll regret that later. Next I contracted a UTI. I got over that. Next we moved. We had found out that because I had previous insurance I could get insurance in Utah, this and having been blessed to be able to save enough money, I decided to quit my job and we moved back to Utah as soon as Adam graduated. I put obtaining insurance and a Dr. off till after the holiday and missed one Dr. appointment. The concern was actually because I was 30 weeks along at that point that many clinics wouldn’t take me because “they don’t take new patients that are that far along in their pregnancies.” Stupid liability issues-what do they expect? If you are pregnant you can’t move or change Dr's ever? Even if you had a previous OBGYN?

Anyway, I finally found a Dr. I even like her. She knows how much I don't like being pregnant. Things continued to be fine other than a couple minor things- the normal not feeling good and I contracted a yeast infection-my first-medicine got me over that. I've been having contractions on and off for months now. We just moved again when my parents rented their house out, the contractions get worse when I try to help and lift too much, but they eventually calm back down. I never had a contraction with Ady until they induced me... I'm not getting my hopes up, but it could mean I am progressing? I have dilated to a 3(I was at a 1 for a month with Ady).

We are almost to the end and they did another ultrasound to make sure there is enough amniotic fluid. There was, and we were reassured it is a boy. They tested for Strep B. The test was positive. Now I get to have antibiotics during the birth too. My Dr. scheduled my induction for the 12th, if it is not here yet. I cannot wait.

It seems that this time around, quite a few of my friends were pregnant as well, instead of just a couple, but they all just seem to be having their babies before me. I am getting jealous they are no longer pregnant and have their bundles of joy already. I am also thankful though, that we are in this together. I also want to put in here a thank you to all my friends and family who have helped out or support us. We are always grateful for that. I am especially grateful for Adam and Ady...they are ever supportive of me, and keep me going, everything from Ady talking to the baby-aka-my belly and telling it to come out, to Adam moving us twice, doing more than his share, and just listening to my complaints and continuing to encourage me. Thanks guys...you are way better than Tums!

Well, this is basically what I really think about my pregnancy, I know alot of people probly have it worse than I do, and I should just be grateful for a healthy baby. Its just hard to have an open mind about others worse problems when it is your trial and it seems so hard at the time. Now that I've got everything off my chest about it, maybe I can be more grateful and less selfish. Time will eventually pass. I will eventually not be pregnant and the best news: Only 1 more week!

Waiting for little brother

If you can't tell from the pictures, Ady is really excited and says she is ready for her little brother to come. About every day she asks us "when baby come out?" or "can baby come play now?". Were pretty used to her mimicking things we do, but the other day when she had her baby up her shirt like mommy, really made me laugh. Notice the dolls head sticking out of her shirt, without even being told, she seems to know that the baby is upside down. Of course, Kasey is even more ready than Ady for the little guy to come out. She is soooo tired of being pregnant. And I am soooo tired of her being pregnant(mostly of her complaining about it). The other day at the doctor's appointment we found out that Kasey has a bacteria, called group B strep, and that it is could be potentially very dangerous to the baby. So they are planning on inducing labor on the 12th so that they can have Kasey on antibiotics during the labor. Kasey of course says that the baby will come tomorrow. I've been hearing tomorrow for the last two weeks.
We moved over to Kasey's parents/grandma's house for now. We bought a trailer and are ready to move to Minnesota as soon as the baby can travel. Everyone always asks us what are plans are, and then when we look at them weird and ask "what plan?", they look back at us as if we are weird. So if you are wondering, no we don't have a plan, at least not a detailed one. No we don't have somewhere to live yet. No we haven't bought a resort. And no I don't have a job up there yet. But we feel this is the best option for us, and are looking forward to another adventure.